Let's see, I could use a....
new washer and dryer (along with a laundry room--a real laundry room)
two new toilets
new shower in master bath
new tub/shower in main bath
fresh paint inside and out
enough money to go buy whatever groceries I want (even be able to afford healthy stuff)
dependable vehicle with enough room for everyone comfortably
kitchen that I can move around in
space for a room dedicated to school and one for play/toys
a mind that can process thought the way it used to
the patience I used to have
less stuff and more space
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Words and Perception
Just a few well meant words can change so much depending on the recipients perception of them. They can either be encouraging and spur them on to greater things because they are already doing so much. We all have things in our lives that need work and improvement. However, if that person does not receive the words the way they were intended and views them in a totally different light of their own making, chaos and unimaginable pain and destruction can follow.
Words are powerful. Sometimes it is so nice to have them, but other times I almost think it would be a blessing not to. It's been 11 years since I've kept a handwritten journal. Tomorrow I will start again. I worked so many things out in my life that way.
God is good all the time. All the time, God is good! No matter what is happening in your life. No matter the pain or hurt. No matter the confusion and misunderstanding surrounding a situation. God is there. He is good. He want His children to follow His will and not their own ways. If we look only to Jesus, He will carry us through. Praying so hard for a situation I can do nothing about BUT pray. My efforts have failed and fallen on deaf ears, bounced off brick walls and landed on a heart hardened in an instant to my words. God it's in you hands. My tears don't mean I don't trust You. They just prove I'm human and not dead. Raw emotion can be so painful.
What is the lesson? Where is the solution? How long will the torture of the heart last? God, I'm clinging to You. Please work this all out and don't let me blubber like a weakling in front of others.
If you are one of my few friends or family who reads my blog, please keep it here. My heart is raw. This is the least public place I have to share my heart and still feel like it's staying close.
Don't try to insert names or figure out the story. Just a very dear best friend and I are struggling and I'm trusting God to bring us through with a far stronger friend relationship on the other side. This is a bumpy ride, but I'm holding on tight and not about to let go.
Words are powerful. Sometimes it is so nice to have them, but other times I almost think it would be a blessing not to. It's been 11 years since I've kept a handwritten journal. Tomorrow I will start again. I worked so many things out in my life that way.
God is good all the time. All the time, God is good! No matter what is happening in your life. No matter the pain or hurt. No matter the confusion and misunderstanding surrounding a situation. God is there. He is good. He want His children to follow His will and not their own ways. If we look only to Jesus, He will carry us through. Praying so hard for a situation I can do nothing about BUT pray. My efforts have failed and fallen on deaf ears, bounced off brick walls and landed on a heart hardened in an instant to my words. God it's in you hands. My tears don't mean I don't trust You. They just prove I'm human and not dead. Raw emotion can be so painful.
What is the lesson? Where is the solution? How long will the torture of the heart last? God, I'm clinging to You. Please work this all out and don't let me blubber like a weakling in front of others.
If you are one of my few friends or family who reads my blog, please keep it here. My heart is raw. This is the least public place I have to share my heart and still feel like it's staying close.
Don't try to insert names or figure out the story. Just a very dear best friend and I are struggling and I'm trusting God to bring us through with a far stronger friend relationship on the other side. This is a bumpy ride, but I'm holding on tight and not about to let go.
Monday, February 7, 2011
It's been a year
Wait on the Lord
2010 was a good year overall. We traveled a lot as a family.
2011 is a year I would already like to be over. It's been rough with issues of the heart that I fear are actually taking a toll on my own physical heart because of the weight of it all. I guess I really need to keep a private journal again. There is nowhere else to get the full relief of expressing the pain and the frustration. I want to scream it from the mountain tops. I want to make people do right by each other and themselves and those around them. Only God can bring that about, but how I'd like to be able to "fix" it on all fronts just so harmony can once again be present.
I don't even know if anyone will read this since it's been a year from my last entry. Please pray for my health. Since the first of this year my BP has been consistently high and my pulse rate a good 10-20 BPM higher than it should be. My head hurts most of the time, probably from the bp and the emotional stress. I even suspect the beginnings of an ulcer. Now my mom is having health issues. That adds a stressfulness in other ways out of concern. The doctor even asked her if there'd been any extra stress in her life lately. Well, yea.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much, or that I could just say, "I've done what I can on my end. It's in God's hands" and then let it go.
I could write so much more, but it's late and I should try to sleep. Though I've done very little of that sine Jan 1. I'm always tired, but sleep little.
2010 was a good year overall. We traveled a lot as a family.
2011 is a year I would already like to be over. It's been rough with issues of the heart that I fear are actually taking a toll on my own physical heart because of the weight of it all. I guess I really need to keep a private journal again. There is nowhere else to get the full relief of expressing the pain and the frustration. I want to scream it from the mountain tops. I want to make people do right by each other and themselves and those around them. Only God can bring that about, but how I'd like to be able to "fix" it on all fronts just so harmony can once again be present.
I don't even know if anyone will read this since it's been a year from my last entry. Please pray for my health. Since the first of this year my BP has been consistently high and my pulse rate a good 10-20 BPM higher than it should be. My head hurts most of the time, probably from the bp and the emotional stress. I even suspect the beginnings of an ulcer. Now my mom is having health issues. That adds a stressfulness in other ways out of concern. The doctor even asked her if there'd been any extra stress in her life lately. Well, yea.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much, or that I could just say, "I've done what I can on my end. It's in God's hands" and then let it go.
I could write so much more, but it's late and I should try to sleep. Though I've done very little of that sine Jan 1. I'm always tired, but sleep little.
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