Words and Perception

Just a few well meant words can change so much depending on the recipients perception of them. They can either be encouraging and spur them on to greater things because they are already doing so much. We all have things in our lives that need work and improvement. However, if that person does not receive the words the way they were intended and views them in a totally different light of their own making, chaos and unimaginable pain and destruction can follow.

Words are powerful. Sometimes it is so nice to have them, but other times I almost think it would be a blessing not to. It's been 11 years since I've kept a handwritten journal. Tomorrow I will start again. I worked so many things out in my life that way.

God is good all the time. All the time, God is good! No matter what is happening in your life. No matter the pain or hurt. No matter the confusion and misunderstanding surrounding a situation. God is there. He is good. He want His children to follow His will and not their own ways. If we look only to Jesus, He will carry us through. Praying so hard for a situation I can do nothing about BUT pray. My efforts have failed and fallen on deaf ears, bounced off brick walls and landed on a heart hardened in an instant to my words. God it's in you hands. My tears don't mean I don't trust You. They just prove I'm human and not dead. Raw emotion can be so painful.

What is the lesson? Where is the solution? How long will the torture of the heart last? God, I'm clinging to You. Please work this all out and don't let me blubber like a weakling in front of others.

If you are one of my few friends or family who reads my blog, please keep it here. My heart is raw. This is the least public place I have to share my heart and still feel like it's staying close.

Don't try to insert names or figure out the story. Just a very dear best friend and I are struggling and I'm trusting God to bring us through with a far stronger friend relationship on the other side. This is a bumpy ride, but I'm holding on tight and not about to let go.

It's been a year

Wait on the Lord

2010 was a good year overall. We traveled a lot as a family. 

2011 is a year I would already like to be over. It's been rough with issues of the heart that I fear are actually taking a toll on my own physical heart because of the weight of it all. I guess I really need to keep a private journal again. There is nowhere else to get the full relief of expressing the pain and the frustration. I want to scream it from the mountain tops. I want to make people do right by each other and themselves and those around them. Only God can bring that about, but how I'd like to be able to "fix" it on all fronts just so harmony can once again be present. 

I don't even know if anyone will read this since it's been a year from my last entry. Please pray for my health. Since the first of this year my BP has been consistently high and my pulse rate a good 10-20 BPM higher than it should be. My head hurts most of the time, probably from the bp and the emotional stress. I even suspect the beginnings of an ulcer. Now my mom is having health issues. That adds a stressfulness in other ways out of concern. The doctor even asked her if there'd been any extra stress in her life lately. Well, yea. 

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much, or that I could just say, "I've done what I can on my end. It's in God's hands" and then let it go. 

I could write so much more, but it's late and I should try to sleep. Though I've done very little of that sine Jan 1. I'm always tired, but sleep little. 

Check-ups

Last week I went to the Dr and yesterday Leah went. She got a perfect report. 95% in both height and weight. The Dr. said she may be 5 but looks like a 7 year old. Right now it's looking like she's going to be quite tall. Her constant headaches are being treated as allergies. Hopefully in 2 weeks the head will not hurt anymore. It it's not better we'll try antibiotics.

Me....??? Got mostly good news. The small spot on my eyebrow, "Old Age". Yep, my first real age spot. Yippee! Hehe. I do really need to work on my diet and exercise. Labs came back normal on everything but the big ugly cholesterol. Very high and I'm not even 40 yet. It's in the genes and requires greater effort to fight than for some folks. Hope I can get it down and not end up on meds so young.

Other than that, we haven't really done anything out of the "norm" all week. Our life is so exciting. :P

Now for the Snowman

The kids had to wait till Daddy got home on Friday to build the snowman. So, they built it in the dark. I was a blast for all and everyone came in frozen and begging for heaters and hot chocolate.

Getting started

Samuel contributing to the snowman body.

finishing touches

Say "snow"

Snow Days

Here's our pictures of the record making snow in North Texas. I've about decided that for the most part my blog will be a picture blog until the day comes when I have more time to just sit and type out my/our life. For time's sake, these will be in no particular order and will be caption free at least until some day when I may or may not come back to add them. ;) The first picture is Snow Ice Cream we made and ate BEFORE we went out and ran through the yard. I haven't uploaded our snowman pictures, so I'll do that in the next day or so.

worn out

Our final measurement was a little over 8", but it had already been melting for several hours. I don't really know what our exact highest depth was.

2,4,6,8

This is no longer true of my children's ages. It was both fun and easy to remember how old they all were. Now that the birthdays started over again, this doesn't work. At present we are at 2,5,7,8 until Samuel has his birthday in May. Then he'll be at an odd number and finally in June Victoria will bring the even spacing back into play. :)

January was Leah's birthday and that's about all the extra stuff we did all month, except attending our nephew and nieces' (triplets) 2nd birthday.

This month is Austin's birthday. He turned 7 on 2-2. We are having a party with family for him this coming Sunday. We did go out on his birthday which was a school holiday, of course! One of the many little hidden bonuses of homeschooling. :)

Don't know when I'll be back to post for real

Seems there's just not enough time in a day to do everything I'd like to do because I'm always so busy doing the things I have/get to do. I'm thinking I may end up being a summer blogger. We'll see.